Fresh Blood Podcast Episode Guest - Teresa Abram

Intro Banner of Teresa Abram

Teresa talks openly about having to find a new career in her 40’s, letting go of work that didn’t serve her in her 50’s and how she found her true calling and current fulfillment.

Teresa Abram is the owner of “handwriting p.i.” a full service handwriting analysis business and she is the creator and host of the podcast “A Most Unusual T Party” which uses the letter T to unlock pieces of a person’s story. As a graphologist, she decodes the graphic movement we create when we put pen to paper, and can delve deep into someone’s mind and personality. Consider her a personality investigator who can spot the red flags of a dangerous personality, see what is holding someone back and identify their strengths. Using the principles of biofeedback therapy, she can also provide people with easy, practical changes to their writing that can lead to positive changes in their lives.

Teresa talks openly about having to find a new career in her 40’s, letting go of work that didn’t serve her in her 50’s and how she found her true calling and current fulfillment.

Teresa Abram is the owner of “handwriting p.i.” a full service handwriting analysis business and she is the creator and host of the podcast “A Most Unusual T Party” which uses the letter T to unlock pieces of a person’s story. As a graphologist, she decodes the graphic movement we create when we put pen to paper, and can delve deep into someone’s mind and personality. Consider her a personality investigator who can spot the red flags of a dangerous personality, see what is holding someone back and identify their strengths. Using the principles of biofeedback therapy, she can also provide people with easy, practical changes to their writing that can lead to positive changes in their lives.

Teresa is a member of the American Handwriting Analysis Foundation.

She finds fulfillment in raising awareness of the powerful tool of handwriting analysis both as aid for understanding and transformation as well as spotting someone’s red flags.

Teresa is a member of the American Handwriting Analysis Foundation.

She finds fulfillment in raising awareness of the powerful tool of handwriting analysis both as aid for understanding and transformation as well as spotting someone’s red flags


Teresa Abram - Handwriting Analyst, Owner of Handwriting P.I. and Podcast Host of 'A Most Unusual T Party'

[00:00:00] Jolie Downs: [00:00:00] Today we are speaking with Teresa Abraham. Teresa is the owner of handwriting PI a full service handwriting analysis business, and she is the creator and host of the podcast, a most unusual T party, which uses the letter T to unlock pieces of a person's story.

[00:00:18] As a graph ologist, she decodes the graphic movement we create when we put pen to paper and can delve deep into someone's mind and personality. Consider her a personality investigator who can spot the red flags of a dangerous personality. See what is holding someone back and identify their strengths.

[00:00:39] Using the principles of biofeedback therapy. She can also provide people with easy practical changes to their writing that can lead to positive changes in their lives. Teresa is a member of the American handwriting analysis foundation. And I have to admit I'm very fascinated and I can't wait to learn more.

[00:00:57] Theresa, thank you for joining us on fresh blood, please. Can you tell us a little bit more about your story and your path to where you are today?

[00:01:04]Teresa Abram: [00:01:04] Thank you so much, Julie, for having me on. I'm really excited to be here. I my path to get here has been a little bit of a zigzag. Certainly. Doing a handwriting analysis is a bit of a quirky kind of profession. And I didn't get to it in an easy way. That's for sure. I started out actually, if you were talking to me six years ago, I was the general manager of a home building

[00:01:29] Jolie Downs: [00:01:29] Oh, wow. Okay. That's a big difference.

[00:01:32] Teresa Abram: [00:01:32] It is a large difference and, life has a way of happening and, back then six years ago, I was in talks to buy the company and I was finishing the courses to become a master builder and my life was mapped out and then life happened.

[00:01:49] Jolie Downs: [00:01:49] Which what happened?

[00:01:51] Teresa Abram: [00:01:51] Oh, my goodness. Basically what happened?

[00:01:53] is the owners of the company that I worked for decided to close up shop.

[00:01:59] I live in Canada and at that point we were just at the start oil was taking a tumble and we were about two years into that and they decided, you know what? They just wanted to close up. They didn't want to sell, they were just shutting it down effective immediately.

[00:02:11] Jolie Downs: [00:02:11] Oh, wow. Just took this and you were working towards this. That's a big change. So tell me what happened

[00:02:17] Teresa Abram: [00:02:17] Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, it was a huge change, right? I I went into a meeting. We were, I was prepped to talk about a new direction that we were going, we're going to take a new direction with the company. And instead the owner said, no, we're shut down effective immediately, but we need you to stay on because we want to go on holidays. So I did. And then after that really I got stuck on, That hamster wheel of have too. I was a single mom at the time. And then I just started taking jobs because I had to, I felt that pressure that I had to provide for them. I had to do this.

[00:02:49] Jolie Downs: [00:02:49] Yes.

[00:02:51] Teresa Abram: [00:02:51] Oh yeah. That's a really tough one.

[00:02:54] But what I found is a lot of people didn't necessarily look at me at that point. I was about 46 years a world though. I had the experience. They weren't really willing to give me a try

[00:03:09] Jolie Downs: [00:03:09] Yes, this is

[00:03:10] Teresa Abram: [00:03:10] and, yep. And so I decided, you know what, I'm going to just do what actually feels good, what feels right? What do I really want to do?

[00:03:19] And that's started a whole different process for me. And it brought me around full circle to doing something that actually I've known about all my life. I had my first handwriting analysis done when I was like 14 years old with my grandma.

[00:03:32] Jolie Downs: [00:03:32] Oh, wow. Okay.

[00:03:33] Teresa Abram: [00:03:33] Yeah. And I thought,

[00:03:34] Jolie Downs: [00:03:34] Right on.

[00:03:35] Teresa Abram: [00:03:35] it.

[00:03:35] Jolie Downs: [00:03:35] Okay.

[00:03:37] Teresa Abram: [00:03:37] What's interesting is I remember some parts of it.

[00:03:40] Yes. They were like, Yeah.

[00:03:42] But whatever. And then I remember there was one part that they put on there. I was 14 years old. I had long hair, I had glasses, the glasses, but in it, it said you were really attractive to the other sex. I thought, oh, I don't think so.

[00:03:55] Jolie Downs: [00:03:55] Ourselves. Gosh.


[00:03:56] Yes,

[00:03:57] Teresa Abram: [00:03:57] we are right.

[00:03:59] Jolie Downs: [00:03:59] not right. You are gorgeous by the way,

[00:04:01]Teresa Abram: [00:04:01] Thank you. I thank you. It was just one of those funny things that when I thought I'm like, oh yeah, this is not right, but whatever. And then now I moved on with it and have reconciled everything with it since then. So it was really an interesting thing to start with.

[00:04:15] Jolie Downs: [00:04:15] Yeah.

[00:04:16] Okay. So basically you found yourself in this position where you had this entire career plan, you were moving up to the next ranks. It was completely pulled out from under you. Which many people can relate with. Really after this past year or

[00:04:29]Teresa Abram: [00:04:29] Oh yeah. I'm not alone. Not alone.

[00:04:32]Jolie Downs: [00:04:32] And you found yourself, and I love that you shared that you found yourself in the have too, because this is something that I, again, a large percent of us can relate to. And what you did was you went out to your passion and that's how you got yourself out of this. I'm curious, like, how did you was handwriting analysis, always something that was in the back of your head that was interesting.

[00:04:49] Or did you stumble onto something? Like, how did that happen?

[00:04:54] Teresa Abram: [00:04:54] I've always known about handwriting analysis and it's something like checking the slope. Somebody writes out whether they're writing on an uphill slope or a downhill slope, very much something that I do. It's part of who I am. And when I see handwriting, it's what I look for. Whether they write with a back-end slant or whether they write with a fork like a forward slant.

[00:05:15] So it's something that I've always had it's it was in my family. It was in my life since I was a teenager. Pre-teen even. And so even as my kids were writing, I would take a note to see, what are, what do I see in their handwriting as they would start to write things in handwriting, of course can be either cursive or printing.

[00:05:32] It doesn't matter either way we can still read it. And it would help me just to see where are they at gauge them, gauge their emotional thermometers,

[00:05:38] Jolie Downs: [00:05:38] I love this.

[00:05:40] Teresa Abram: [00:05:40] Yeah. So it was always there. And after everything happened with, that company and, a couple, one of the jobs in particular that I took after that, I really blamed myself for not seeing it coming.

[00:05:55] Jolie Downs: [00:05:55] oh,

[00:05:56] Teresa Abram: [00:05:56] I right. I know,

[00:05:59] Jolie Downs: [00:05:59] and then when you listen to someone else, you're like, no, but it's so human to feel that way.

[00:06:05] Teresa Abram: [00:06:05] exactly. It's like, why didn't I see that coming? I should have known that was going to happen. And I really took it upon myself. And then with one of the jobs in particular, after. You know that I took afterwards and the boss was a little bit crazy and I realized afterwards, I had never seen his handwriting.

[00:06:21] All of our communication was done on text. All of it was through email. I had never seen his handwriting and it was like, that's a warning sign.

[00:06:31] Jolie Downs: [00:06:31] Yes. Did you see it by chance? Did you afterwards after the fact, but I'm so curious.

[00:06:37] Teresa Abram: [00:06:37] I no, but he was an absolute he was. Crazy. We were oil and water and I really, and, then, so then of course after that and the Headspace that I'm in and the had to and have to do that. And I, so again, I took that on myself and thinking I should have done that. I should have seen his handwriting.

[00:06:55] So it was always percolating there. And it wasn't until a few years later. And my daughter was like, and I said something about handwriting and she's mom, that's really cool. Apparently I had never shared this with my kids. It was a bit of a surprise.

[00:07:12] Jolie Downs: [00:07:12] handwriting.

[00:07:13] Teresa Abram: [00:07:13] Yeah,

[00:07:13] Jolie Downs: [00:07:13] You didn't want to tell them then.

[00:07:15] Teresa Abram: [00:07:15] no, I don't need my secret to get out right. But anyway, and she was like, this is actually really cool, mom, you should do something with it. And I'm like, really? And then.

[00:07:22] I looked into it again and I'm like, actually, she's right. I should do something with this. Cause I love doing it. It's something that I believe in. I'm passionate about it.

[00:07:30] And I love spreading awareness about it because it's such a good tool for us to see. Behind what a person is trying to tell us if that makes sense. A lot of people will say what they want to say and they look a certain way. So that will think so. But I

[00:07:47] Jolie Downs: [00:07:47] so you probably use it a lot for HR type of situations.

[00:07:51] Teresa Abram: [00:07:51] Yeah.

[00:07:52] HR, it's awesome for HR, because you can have somebody that comes in and say, yeah, they're really organized, but then you can look at their handwriting and see are they actually organized or is there a little bit of chaos going on?

[00:08:02] Jolie Downs: [00:08:02] Very interesting. So they call you to use you to, analyze potential

[00:08:06] Teresa Abram: [00:08:06] That's the word?

[00:08:07] Jolie Downs: [00:08:07] Yes. Oh, wow. That's very interesting. So how did you end up starting your own business? Cause this is a big step too. Going from deciding that you're gonna, enter into this realm and starting your own business.

[00:08:17] Tell me a little bit about that.

[00:08:19] Teresa Abram: [00:08:19] Yeah. So I had really decided. I don't really want to work for anybody else. I did not like being hood hoodwinked. I didn't like being, I felt like I'd been, the wind was totally knocked out of my sails and I really felt very strongly. I did not want that to happen again. And so I did start one business.

[00:08:43] First. I took training to become a coach and I took two years training to become a master coach. And then I started that business up first, but it wasn't really my passion that.

[00:08:53] wasn't really got, it didn't really get me fired up. And that's when I said, and this is something I think is so important and it took me 50 years to learn.

[00:09:02] It's okay to say this isn't quite right to set it down, walk away and start something else.

[00:09:08]And that's what I did. I just thought, I know I don't want to work for anybody else, but I also want to make sure that I'm doing what I love and that's why I started it.

[00:09:15] Jolie Downs: [00:09:15] Yeah, the thing that fills you up, that's fantastic. Now I can see that you love, you mean you love talking about it. Like it gets you, it gets your juices flowing. And that's what we all want

[00:09:25] Teresa Abram: [00:09:25] Yeah. That's right.

[00:09:26] Jolie Downs: [00:09:26] to get up in the morning and feel those juices flowing without having to make.

[00:09:30]Teresa Abram: [00:09:30] Exactly. And I always said like with home building, like we were a custom home builder and I always said that it picked me. I didn't choose it. It picked me. So it was interesting to actually say, what is it that I. Really liked doing, and I love doing this because it really allows me, if I'm working with people one-on-one and I do a lot where I'm helping people just to understand themselves a little bit better and to see what roadblocks they might I have.

[00:09:57] And I really love being able to have those deep conversations with people. That's what I love.

[00:10:04] Jolie Downs: [00:10:04] Yeah, I think that's fantastic. And I, I appreciate that you shared that you were getting passed over when you were looking for work. So that was the inspiration for this podcast was that so often people with 20 years, Plus experience are getting overlooked. They're not even looked at in the resume pile.

[00:10:22]So I love that you took it in your own hands and said, you know what? I'm just not. I'm taking myself out of this ridiculousness and creating a new reality for myself. So congratulations to you for that now, through all of these different things that you've experienced. I'm curious, what do you feel is one or two of your greater successes in life and what did you learn from it?

[00:10:42]Teresa Abram: [00:10:42] Really do feel that starting my own podcast. Is a huge success. I'm actually very proud of

[00:10:49] Jolie Downs: [00:10:49] Yeah. Tell us about that.

[00:10:51] Teresa Abram: [00:10:51] Sure. So I do have a podcast, the most unusual tea party, and that's where I do invite people onto the show. And I do a handwriting analysis of them. And I also do what's called spot the lie and identify their love language. So it really gives me a lot of good practice right in the moment where I get to talk for, talk with people and get immediate feedback on whether or not I'm right or wrong, which is huge for me. And. I would never have done it if it wasn't for my kids, because it's a lot of different technology. I don't know if people know this, if they're, the people who are listening to this actually know just how much technology goes into making a podcast.

[00:11:31] It's a lot of different pieces that you have to

[00:11:33] Jolie Downs: [00:11:33] it really is.

[00:11:34] Teresa Abram: [00:11:34] It really is. And when my kids were starting talking about, and I'm like, yeah, sure. I can do that. And then I got into it and it's wow, this is.

[00:11:41] way more complex than I had anticipated. So I'm really actually quite proud of the fact that I could do it.

[00:11:47] And I did

[00:11:48] Jolie Downs: [00:11:48] you too, because it is a big deal.

[00:11:50] Teresa Abram: [00:11:50] It is right. It is. And it's

[00:11:52]Jolie Downs: [00:11:52] And I love that your kids helped you with that. And what, like, how were they involved in helping you with the process?

[00:11:59] Teresa Abram: [00:11:59] Every time I had stopped doing anything. And they would ask me how it's going. And if I'd say I haven't really done anything. They'd be like, what do you need help with? Pretty much they were the ones I was accountable to them essentially is what it came out with. My son did a lot of the research to find the hosting platform that would make the most sense for what I wanted to do.

[00:12:17] Cause there's a lot of different choices out there. And so they really were able to step forward and say, Hey. Let's talk about it. Let's move you forward. So it's really in truly, it's almost everything that they're responsible for and just making sure that I take that next step. They weren't going to let me stop midway.

[00:12:35] They're like, Nope. Keep

[00:12:36] Jolie Downs: [00:12:36] That's important. You need those people in your life. We all need those people in our lives to help us keep moving forward. Yeah. Now what about the flip side of the question about perceived failure, a big challenge or obstacle that you had to deal with and how you overcame it?

[00:12:51] Teresa Abram: [00:12:51] Yeah. I think I've already mentioned, when I, when suddenly that rug was pulled out from under me, when I was no longer the general manager of the award-winning custom home builder, home building company, and it really hit me with the, who am I now, it was a real feeling of loss. And like I say, I really took it personally.

[00:13:12] I had done something wrong. I had missed those signs. So that is one, and what's really interesting is it actually echoed again in my personal life, that same sort of thing happened again, where I thought I missed all of the signs. How could I do that? And that time it actually involved my daughter and it involves somebody who was obsessive about her.

[00:13:36] And I was like, how did I miss the signs again? And I let this event happen. And I couldn't stop it. So I really felt that was a big failure on my part.

[00:13:50] Jolie Downs: [00:13:50] oh, I want to, yeah. It's if it's 20, 20, we all say that it's so easy with 2020 vision, but we can only see what we can see in the moment.

[00:14:00] Teresa Abram: [00:14:00] Yes. So true. You can only see what you can see in the moment. And for me, when I'd happened that second time, that was a real wake up call because. The same thing that I had done taking it on myself, blaming myself. And I'm thinking I'm never going to be able to trust anybody ever again, the defenses kicking in.

[00:14:17] I saw it happening in my daughter

[00:14:19] Jolie Downs: [00:14:19] Oh, wow.

[00:14:20] Teresa Abram: [00:14:20] and I thought I do not want her to be living her life like that. She's only 18 years old. I don't need her to start off on that foot. That really prompted me to take more action again, to get that sorted out. But just to see that repeat itself and then to see her take the same action as I did that to me, I really felt like a failure then if I'm supposed to be showing the way for my kids and teaching them and guiding them

[00:14:43]Jolie Downs: [00:14:43] That gives me goosebumps, honestly, because right to see it. Do you do see yourself played out in your kids and it's a wake up call? It is. It's like a, wow.

[00:14:53] Teresa Abram: [00:14:53] Yeah, all of the things that.

[00:14:55] I want to teach them and leave them with. That's not

[00:14:59] Jolie Downs: [00:14:59] Yeah. W what did you do? Like, how did I, I'm curious about this, cause this is something that we all experienced is what did you do in that moment? How did you make a shift for yourself?

[00:15:08]Teresa Abram: [00:15:08] I really decided we had to stand up for ourselves. And I think that was the moment where it shifted. I felt the first time when it happened to me professionally, I didn't really feel that I could stand up for myself. I What leg did I really have to stand on? If the owners decide to close the business, there's not much you can do.

[00:15:25] And I really, put that mantle on a victim hood, which is embarrassing to admit, but I did

[00:15:31] Jolie Downs: [00:15:31] oh, that's another human thing. Yes.

[00:15:32] Teresa Abram: [00:15:32] It. Yes,

[00:15:33]Jolie Downs: [00:15:33] You got to recognize it and pull

[00:15:35] Teresa Abram: [00:15:35] That's right. Exactly. And I, and you've just said it right there. It's recognizing it and then you can pull yourself out. So when I saw it happening to my daughter and I thought there is no way we're doing this.

[00:15:45] So we both got strong and we said, no, we're going to take action because we can take action. It doesn't matter how small it is. It doesn't matter what anybody else is telling us. We're going to take it. And so we did, and we started to reclaim that power back. We were no longer giving it to this man who was Doing all sorts of crazy things.

[00:16:04] Jolie Downs: [00:16:04] or yes.

[00:16:04]Teresa Abram: [00:16:04] So that's, it was just little steps, little bit. And it's was like, Nope, that's not okay. What can we do against that? And really establishing those boundaries against him.

[00:16:13] Jolie Downs: [00:16:13] That's great.


[00:16:14] So through all of these different experiences that you've gone through, what do you feel is essential? I Really to having continued success through life and finding that fulfillment in life.

[00:16:29] Teresa Abram: [00:16:29] Yeah, honestly, I think it just comes down to getting engaged. Just say yes to something, be involved, learned key to staying engaged with what's going on around you, with people around you, with technology, just stay engaged, be curious and keep learning. I really feel like that is what you need to do at least I do that's for sure.

[00:16:53] Jolie Downs: [00:16:53] I agree. I do agree. Yeah. Now,

[00:16:56]Teresa Abram: [00:16:56] And also don't get on the hamster wheel.

[00:17:00] Jolie Downs: [00:17:00] so many of us live there.

[00:17:02]Teresa Abram: [00:17:02] And it's so hard to get off of once you get on it. So if you can just avoid getting on that darn thing to begin with just take the other to take the other road.

[00:17:09] Jolie Downs: [00:17:09] Yes. So

[00:17:11] Tell me what life lesson have you learned? The hard way

[00:17:15] Teresa Abram: [00:17:15] Oh, that's a good question. There's a quote by Maya Angelou and it says when with, when someone shows you who they are, listen to them the first time.

[00:17:30]Jolie Downs: [00:17:30] Yes, I have a problem with this. Do you have suggestions?

[00:17:34]Teresa Abram: [00:17:34] It's word action and handwriting, right. For me now it's so important. Anybody and same with my daughter, she meets somebody, she's getting a handwriting sample and she sends it to me. She's mom, is this person crazy? Is this person going to be a lunatic? It helps give her a little bit of peace of mind.

[00:17:50]I think the biggest piece of advice is it's not about approaching everything and seeing the bads and thinking this could hurt me, or they might be awful. It's actually the reverse. It's about staying open and still trusting people. But if they do something that is strange and it makes your spider senses tingle question, it.

[00:18:13] Jolie Downs: [00:18:13] Yeah,

[00:18:14] Teresa Abram: [00:18:14] And don't let your mind override it, which we will automatically try to override it and make sense of it.

[00:18:20] Jolie Downs: [00:18:20] We do. We override that, like you said, I like the spider sense. So that gut feeling that the tingles that you get that back of your neck, or,

[00:18:30] Teresa Abram: [00:18:30] exactly right. If you get that, then you stop and you investigate it right there.

[00:18:34] Jolie Downs: [00:18:34] that's really good

[00:18:35] Teresa Abram: [00:18:35] and I think back to, both of those times, the one with the company, when they were. We're closing up shop. could have changed that a little bit. If I had listened to those spiders senses, it could have gone differently definitely in the second case, for sure. So I think I learned that in the hard way.

[00:18:49]Jolie Downs: [00:18:49] That's a

[00:18:49] Teresa Abram: [00:18:49] Still learning it. If anybody else has ideas, I'm open to it too.

[00:18:55] Jolie Downs: [00:18:55] It's a consistent lesson that we all need to, we need the re we need the reminders, so

[00:19:01] Teresa Abram: [00:19:01] I'm really hoping to avoid a third one though.

[00:19:04] Jolie Downs: [00:19:04] yes, I agree. We're learning the lessons and you're you're obviously more aware of when those feelings come up to listen to them and thank you for sharing with all of us, to be more aware and to listen to them. Now because you've had a unique experience through, with getting this carpet pulled out from under you.

[00:19:21] Teresa Abram: [00:19:21] Yep.

[00:19:22] Jolie Downs: [00:19:22] A lot of people are struggling, in the, after the 40. In the forties, fifties, sixties, whenever there's a big change. And we've just had a huge change in this pandemic. Lots of people have lost their jobs. There's been lots of shifts, regardless, acquisitions, new CEOs. If anyone is in that category and there's somewhat struggling to find that right next role what's right for them.

[00:19:42] Do you have advice for them from going through your own experience?

[00:19:45] Teresa Abram: [00:19:45] Yep. Yep. I do. I think it's really important for you to be gentle with yourself. Okay. There is a grieving process when something like that happens, you. There is grief that goes along with it. And you just be gentle with yourself, allow yourself time to mourn for what was for all of the hopes and dreams that you had. Don't put the pressure on yourself saying I've got to get it figured out right away.

[00:20:16] Just allow yourself that space to just grieve. And if that means you're going to take, a 15 hour. $15 an hour job someplace so that it doesn't have any extra stressors or pressure for you, but then you can grieve and heal. And it's so important just to give yourself that time in that space. I feel

[00:20:37] Jolie Downs: [00:20:37] Yeah, it really is.

[00:20:39] Teresa Abram: [00:20:39] the answers will come up.

[00:20:40] Yeah.

[00:20:41]Jolie Downs: [00:20:41] All the time when they're in that position. And there is, you can hear it. It's deep inside and it hurts. And, but there's this needs the scramble, like you said

[00:20:48] Teresa Abram: [00:20:48] Hamster wheel.

[00:20:49] Jolie Downs: [00:20:49] and yes, it is really important to take that time to grieve and to let that move through you so you can be ready for the right next thing, and be able to see that right.

[00:20:58] Next thing, that it is right for you too, because I think that. That grief. I think this is really insightful. This, that grief, it does put a film a little bit over the eyes, and it takes you back to the half too. Because it is that struggle inside. So

[00:21:11] Teresa Abram: [00:21:11] Yeah.

[00:21:12] exactly. And I think the other part of that too. Okay, I'm going to give you more advice. I'm a coach too. So what's he asked for that? Oh, don't get me started. But I think like for me, the other part of that has just been integral is to give myself that space just to rest, to be okay to heal.

[00:21:29] But also I really make sure that I'm taking time to meditate. Because, and it's not a huge long time. I have done meditation retreats where, you meditate for 14 hours a day, but for everyday life, that's not what you need to do. It's just 10, 15 minutes. Just allow yourself to. Focus on the air conditioner, do whatever you have to do where you're not worried about paying bills, feeding your family, anything like that.

[00:21:57] So I think meditation is also something that is just super important and super helpful to move you through that transition.

[00:22:03] Jolie Downs: [00:22:03] no, I completely agree. I'm a big fan of meditation as well. It makes a huge difference in life. Yes. Yeah. If not meditating, it feels It's like a dirty like, cause like I haven't showered. It makes me a little cranky.

[00:22:16]Teresa Abram: [00:22:16] Exactly. And I can look at my day and say, this is I meditated today. And it was good. And then there's the days that I don't meditate and it's oh Yes. I'm not quite as prepared for my day.

[00:22:27] Jolie Downs: [00:22:27] Yes exactly. I've had those days where I'm just really flustered. And you're just that, ah, energy.

[00:22:33] Teresa Abram: [00:22:33] Yeah.

[00:22:35] Jolie Downs: [00:22:35] Oh my gosh. I really just need to go meditate and I will, and it'll just be it. It's like all this calm water. It's amazing. So if you're not meditating, I, we all highly suggest you look into it.

[00:22:47] Teresa Abram: [00:22:47] exactly. It's like hitting the computers on off button when it's not working quite right. You just hit that button to turn it on and off again. And meditation does the same for the human body.

[00:22:56] Jolie Downs: [00:22:56] So what would you say of all of your life lessons that you have had? What's something that you've learned that's brought the most benefit to your life.

[00:23:06] Teresa Abram: [00:23:06] Ooh. Okay.

[00:23:08] I have a lot of life lessons cause I tend to jump in with both feet and then it's only afterwards that I think, maybe I shouldn't have done that. have many different life lessons. What would be the one that I think, yeah, I really think the one. That I have learned. And it's certainly been, if I look back over my life, something that I've struggled with all the way through is that idea that I'm not good enough. I know in, I remember in elementary school, if I was second in something, it wasn't good enough. I wanted to be top and everything.

[00:23:41]And I don't think I ever shook that all the way through. I was never quite good enough if I didn't work for the top lawyer. I wasn't good enough if I didn't, if we weren't winning awards, when I was building homes, we weren't good enough. And I think for me, the biggest lesson has been it's okay to not be good enough.

[00:23:58] I don't have to be number when it's more important to be happy to enjoy what I'm doing.

[00:24:04]Jolie Downs: [00:24:04] When you are good enough or you're good enough just as you are with, even if it's not first place in the home building show or what have you, you still are good enough.

[00:24:17] Teresa Abram: [00:24:17] absolutely. The only time. I would rather, I am always good enough.

[00:24:23] and I would rather be trying my best. And even if I don't end up top, at least I'm still trying, I'm still in the game. And that to me is way more important than being taught. Anything, like whatever

[00:24:35] Jolie Downs: [00:24:35] Exactly when embodying your own game too, you can be top of someone else's game, but that's meaningless.

[00:24:42] Teresa Abram: [00:24:42] Oh, I really liked that Jolie. Yeah.

[00:24:44] You're so right. Create your own game. Isn't that what we do when we created business, it's now the rules are up to me. This is my game.

[00:24:51] Jolie Downs: [00:24:51] Exactly.

[00:24:53] Teresa Abram: [00:24:53] That just gave me goosebumps. I'm like, maybe that's why I decided I needed to make my own business was because I want my rules.

[00:24:59] Nobody else's

[00:25:00] Jolie Downs: [00:25:00] Exactly. We're following the rules that we want to follow.

[00:25:04] Teresa Abram: [00:25:04] that's right. And we can change them if they don't work

[00:25:06] Jolie Downs: [00:25:06] Exactly. It's a beautiful thing.

[00:25:10] Teresa Abram: [00:25:10] I agreed. I agreed. It is.

[00:25:12] Jolie Downs: [00:25:12] So now have you found that there's anything that helps motivate you during times of struggle?

[00:25:19] Teresa Abram: [00:25:19] Yes, definitely. Handwriting analyst. So I journal a lot.

[00:25:25] Jolie Downs: [00:25:25] That makes sense.

[00:25:26] Teresa Abram: [00:25:26] Yeah.

[00:25:27] I write high journal a lot. And between journaling and meditation, I think those are what really get me through. Anytime I'm facing a struggle. If I'm feeling really like when you have your own business, sometimes you do hit roadblocks where you're just like, I don't.

[00:25:43] Know what to do. And some of these, your kids actually can't help you with it's cause, cause you, you gotta find the answer for yourself. It's not something that somebody else can give to you. And I really find that journaling is what helps me when I layer that with the handwriting analysis. There's ways of being able to tell, where am I deceiving myself?

[00:26:05]What am I believing that isn't actually true? And that can be revealed in my handwriting. And then that will give me a clue of, this is what I need to unpack so that I can move forward again. So certainly for me, journaling is instrumental in moving forward through any struggle.

[00:26:22] Jolie Downs: [00:26:22] giving you that insight, huh? That's really good. I was curious. So with your handwriting analysis, is there any famous person, that you have done analyzer handwriting that has been the most fascinating to you throughout anyone throughout history that just through your own experiences

[00:26:38] Teresa Abram: [00:26:38] that's a really loaded question.

[00:26:40] Jolie Downs: [00:26:40] It

[00:26:40] Teresa Abram: [00:26:40] are you sure you want to open this? Can because let me tell you

[00:26:44] Jolie Downs: [00:26:44] what

[00:26:44] Teresa Abram: [00:26:44] there's many. Okay.

[00:26:45] Jolie Downs: [00:26:45] If you've got an interesting story, I'll we'll take it.

[00:26:48] Teresa Abram: [00:26:48] Okay, I'm going to I'll tell you to my favorite sort of one through history that I love to talk about is Richard Nixon's signature. It's a fascinating one. So of course, Richard Nixon is tricky Dicky. The one that was impeached and things went sideways for him as president.

[00:27:09] And if you follow the progression of his signature, If you see it before any of this happened and he's fresh and all inspired about being president of the United States, it's really quite nice and everything is well formed as he moves through the presidency. It just starts to fall apart. And then by the end, when he's going through his impeachment and it's, it's over game over for him, it becomes basically in line with another line, crossing it out.

[00:27:36] So it makes like this X, it becomes completely formless. And it really does convey that idea that he's, his identity. He just wants to take himself out of the game. He's done. Cause his signature reflects that public persona. And he goes from being somebody who's really proud of himself willing to take a stand, willing to say, here I am, look at me to just take it himself right out of there. okay.

[00:28:00] So it is his signature is really fascinating to see. yeah.

[00:28:04] As far as the most interesting one that I've done for myself, I'm not sure I have two actually that are tied. Okay. So when I did it for Robin Dreek, who is a, he was the ex chief of the FBI behavioral analysis program. And now he's an author and the founder of the people's formula, fascinating guy and his thing.

[00:28:32] Was counterespionage. So he was doing spies international spies, that's who he dealt with. And when I got his sample, I really expected it to be very secretive and all sorts of interesting things in it. And it turned out not to be that way at all. It was like really upfront and honest. And I was so surprised by that.

[00:28:53] That's not what I expected to see, but he mentioned. It was, I'm just like, this is it's very cool to see this. And given that now he talks about trust, That's his whole thing is all about trust. And he said people think that to be a good spy, you're going to have to be secretive and devious and all that kind of stuff he said, but truly to be an exceptional spy, which he was, you have to be transparent and honest because you're asking these people to betray their country.

[00:29:21] If you're lying to them, They're never going to deal with you.

[00:29:24] Jolie Downs: [00:29:24] Yes,

[00:29:25] Teresa Abram: [00:29:25] thought, oh, that's really

[00:29:27] Jolie Downs: [00:29:27] powerful.

[00:29:28]Teresa Abram: [00:29:28] So that was really fascinating, at least for me. And then the other one. Yeah.

[00:29:33] And then the other one is the complete opposite. I did an analysis. I had Chris Hadnagy on my podcast and he is the founder of social engineering, LLC.

[00:29:43] He's a human hacker. That's what he calls himself as a human hacker. And he does all sorts of crazy things. So that companies can improve their security and become less susceptible to getting hacked to themselves. Okay.

[00:29:58] So he uses the same kind of things that con men do, but he uses it for the good.

[00:30:02]Jolie Downs: [00:30:02] Awesome.

[00:30:03] Teresa Abram: [00:30:03] Okay.

[00:30:04] And his handwriting came back full of all of the deviousness. That I had expected to see in Providence. So I had a, it was a lot of fun to do his handwriting analysis and just say, wow, look at it all. So

[00:30:18] Jolie Downs: [00:30:18] makes sense to me and a hacker,

[00:30:19] Teresa Abram: [00:30:19] and that's what I said. He took everything that I know about handwriting and pretty much turned it on its head so that when I looked at it, I had to completely rewrite everything that I knew because in order to find his Bly, I had to find and say what actually looks normal and pull that out of it.

[00:30:35] So it was really interesting.

[00:30:37] Jolie Downs: [00:30:37] very interesting. I loved it. Thank you for sharing those. And what about as far as with your work? So are you offering for people who are listening, who might be interested, how do they get in contact you? What are the types of things that you offer?

[00:30:50] Teresa Abram: [00:30:50] for sure. So if they want to get in contact with me they can check out my website, which is just handwriting,

[00:30:58] Jolie Downs: [00:30:58] We'll add that to the show notes.

[00:30:59] Teresa Abram: [00:30:59] Yeah. Perfect. Thank you. And if they want to send me an email, it's just handwriting I'm active on Instagram. That's pretty much the only social media that I follow or engaged in, and you can certainly follow me there and send me a DM and I'll answer you there.

[00:31:15] I offer. A couple of different options for people. One of them is the same experience that my podcast guests get, but it's private. We're not going to publicize it to everybody. And I go a little bit more in depth with your handwriting. So we basically do an analysis. I talked to you, you ask me questions and we take a look.

[00:31:35] Oftentimes what I find people saying Is that's exactly what they're doing, which tells them if there's a roadblock or something, they'll say, oh my God, I can't believe you just told me that. That's what my coach has said. So it's a really good way of just identifying where are you getting hung up? So that's, I offer that and also for companies, we do the IDV for HR, where we can do a different, there's a couple of different offerings for that to help you work with who to hire

[00:32:00] Jolie Downs: [00:32:00] for people who are, dating and want a little information about people?

[00:32:05] Teresa Abram: [00:32:05] Absolutely.

[00:32:08] Jolie Downs: [00:32:08] I'm

[00:32:08] Teresa Abram: [00:32:08] Yeah. That's.

[00:32:09] Jolie Downs: [00:32:09] going to be happening soon here.

[00:32:11] Teresa Abram: [00:32:11] That's right. And I do that. So I have, it's actually a compatibility analysis where that's exactly what we do is you send me both people's handwriting and we're going to spot where there's compatibility, where there might be friction points and then you can make it is, it's always fun to do that one.

[00:32:29] Jolie Downs: [00:32:29] Sure. We have your website and email in the show notes, so people can find you if they're interested in getting some handwriting analysis. But before we leave, I'd love to ask you one last question, because I always, I love to hear what the answer is. What are you sure of in life?

[00:32:43]Teresa Abram: [00:32:43] I am sure that I loved mashed potatoes outside of that. I think it's all a wild card. Oh, are you part of the potato club?

[00:32:54] Jolie Downs: [00:32:54] you said that.

[00:32:54]Teresa Abram: [00:32:54] You're my potato sister. Yeah. I think that's the only thing that I know. I love mashed potatoes, the rest, we'll see. I'm

[00:33:03] Jolie Downs: [00:33:03] I love that answer. Thank you so much for joining us, Teresa. This has been wonderful.

[00:33:10] Teresa Abram: [00:33:10] Thank you. Thank you. It's been a blast to be on Jolie.

[00:33:12] Jolie Downs: I so enjoyed Teresa’s story.

Teresa had her life mapped out, she had her career future planned and locked in for years to come, until the rug was unceremoniously pulled from under her. With no forewarning, the future she carefully planned was taken away from her.

As Teresa shared, this situation put her in a place of feeling like she “had to” accept roles, she was stuck in the ‘have to’ cycle and taking on things that didn’t truly fill her or light her up, but which kept the bills paid.

How many of you can relate to that?

The immediate uncertainty and fear. The anxious worrying of what comes next.

It’s a feeling of being adrift and it can be really really scary.

This type of situation was one of my motivations for this podcast. It’s a common story, one I’ve heard countless times and when it happens during a time in life when you are over the age of 40, it seems to take a much bigger toll than the below 40. There is more panic in the over 40 population when dealing with this type of situation – which makes sense because you have growing responsibilities in life combined with less opportunity available to those with the most experience. It is one of the US’s greatest ironies, that we have times of full blown talent wars but have a large percentage of companies that will not look at people with more than 20 years of experience.

It’s asinine and something our culture should feel some shame for.

I hit my 20 years of experience recently and I can say without a doubt that I have never been more on my game, more confident in my abilities or more worthy of being looked at for employment than I am today. The constant search for someone with 5 to 10 years of actual experience but 20 years of knowledge is what is fueling the talent wars. Companies are out there begging for talent but they refuse to look at some of the best talent available, simply because of the years of experience on the resume. Does this not make you scratch your head?

If you are running a business, or a division within a company and you are struggling to find the right talent. I challenge you to open your eyes and look at the resumes of the people with 20+ years. You want talent? Look at the people who have spent the past 20 years becoming talented in their field. They know what they are doing. They have the skill set, they have the expertise and guess what, they want to do the job. Not everyone wants to be CEO, not everyone wants to SVP, some really love the work that is actually being done as a manager or as a director and they are perfectly fine with the salary range. The job suits them. And guess what, if they have 20 years and still want to do that job, because the job suits them, then they are much more likely to stay longer than and have a bigger impact in your organization than that person with 7 years of experience whose main purpose is climbing the ladder and finding the next best thing.

I know it’s psychologically initimdating to so many to hire someone with more experience under you, it triggers an insecurity, a worry of being judged, but know that this is a human feeling and this is how the other person is feeling too. Know that you are smart enough to handle the situation, you have as much to offer this person as they have to offer you and do yourself a favor by taking advantage of this solution. We all have so much to learn from each other, regardless of our age.

Now, if you are on the flip side, someone who is struggling to find the right thing, remember to focus on the things you can control versus the things you can’t control. What you can control is where you put your focus. Teresa’s story is similar to so many others, who have found themselves in a time of struggle, dealing with all their have to’s, - how many can relate to that, just overwhelmed with have to? Surrounded with have to’s and your head down doing your best to exist yet not fully living.

As Teresa advised, allow yourself time and space to mourn what was and then spend time alone, thinking and figuring out what you really want. Give yourself space for the answers to come up. There is a natural need to scramble when there is a lay off or shake up with your career which skews the focus towards the have to instead of the want to.

The people who are living that fulfilled successful life, they have been in this moment and something spurred them to spend the time to come to the realization of what do I WANT?

Like Teresa said, it took her 50 years to learn that it is ok to say, this is not working for me, it is ok to step away and find something that will make you feel good in the morning. Even with the career she liked, she realized that industry and career had been picked for her, she didn’t choose it, but this is her life, she does get to choose.

So she finally asked herself the right questions, and you should to.

What do you really want?

What fulfills you?

What lights you up? What would you be passionate to have the opportunity to work on each day?

It all begins with identifying the wants.

There is power in finding clarity and writing out your intentions. Getting clear on your goals and writing them down brings a special kind of magic and the universe conspires to make it all happen with you.

The minute you identify what you want, you create this awareness in your mind. This puts you in a position where your eyes have been opened. This process triggers your reticular activating system which causes you to see the world differently. Just like the moment you decide to buy a dog, you see dogs EVERYWHERE right? They were always there, but you didn’t fully notice them until you decided to buy a dog. Same thing happens when you get really clear on what you want your life to look like. You’ll start noticing the potential all around that can help you reach your goals and it will feel like doors suddenly start opening.

Spend some time tonight building that fantasy life, writing it out on paper, every single goal, every single ideal scenario – everything – health/fitness, character, love, relationships, financial, intellectual, spiritual - and I promise you, you will see change begin to happen.

I loved that Teresa’s kids were there for her, helping push her along with her goals. First, what a precious gift to have such good relationships with your loved ones, I’m wishing you all such positive relationships with the loved ones in your life. Whoever you are close with, ask them if they would help you work towards your goal, be an accountability partner of sorts. It makes an incredible difference when you have someone asking about your goals, willing to talk with you when you reach roadblocks and help push you along. If you don’t have someone in your personal life, you can join different facebook groups related to your passion/goals and ask if someone would be willing to be an accountability partner. I see this happening in tons of groups, there are so many options out there and so many people willing to help. Having the support of one person who is willing to show a modicum of interest can be the catalyst you need to get where you want to go.

I appreciate Teresa sharing with us how lost she felt during those difficult times. How she had taken it personally feeling like she had missed the signs. I know so many of us have felt this way, struggling with the what if’s and why didn’t I’s – this is so human, this is so normal but that does not make this thought process right. When you start going down the path of beating yourself up for past perceived transgressions, remember, you can only see what you see in that moment. You can only make the decision with what you have in front of you. You are doing your best in any given moment. Beating yourself up will not make any situation better, it will not make you better, the only way to make the situation better, is to learn from it.

And the learning, the true learning, is always empowering. When it makes you lesser than, when it makes you contract rather than expand, than that is fear, that is not learning. Fear is insidious, making itself an unwelcome houseguest after any difficult situation. As Teresa shared, her reaction was to not trust anyone again – this is, once again a normal reaction and one that impacts countless people. Lucky for Teresa she had her wake up call in seeing the same reaction play out in her daughter. Has that ever happened to you before? Where you see yourself playing out in someone else and an epiphany happens. All of a sudden you can see clearly just as Teresa did. Teresa saw that she had been putting on the mantle of victim hood and she had the power to pull herself right back out. It starts with recognizing it, making the conscious decision to reclaim your power and then taking action, Your victim story can be turned into a victor story, you just have to choose to do so.

Teresa also shared that meditation and journaling got her through a lot of her struggles. We are often hit with roadblocks we don’t know what to do about and other people can’t give us the answers, we must find them within ourselves. Journaling is a great way for you to learn how you are deceiving yourself, you can see where your beliefs are, find clarity on the beliefs that are not true and find insight on what you need to work on so you can move forward. If you haven’t tried journaling, it’s worth giving it a try and seeing how it works for you.

Finally, I’m grateful Teresa shared how she would feel like she wasn’t good enough, like she had to be the top of everything and winning awards or else she wasn’t quite good enough. This is the majority of the populations dirty little secret, the not feeling good enough, the imposter syndrome. I want you to work on shutting down this voice. This voice is never right. I want you to know that you are good enough. You are playing no ones game but your own. And you own the game. No one is better than you at playing.

It is meaningless to be at the top of someone elses game, it’s all about being at the top of your own.

It’s your life, your rules, you get to create them and you get to change them when they don’t work for you.

Create your world and build your life exactly as is right for you.

That is my wish for you all, that you will embody your own game and always know that you are enough for whatever it is you want in life.

Until next time

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